"Fluency" tickets on sale

Okay, folks. As promised, here are the performance dates and times for "Fluency" at FringeNYC. Tickets are on sale now. Click on the links below to go to Ticketweb or visit FringeCENTRAL starting Friday, July 25th. This year, FringeCENTRAL is presented by

Open House
201 Mulberry Street
(between Spring and Kenmare)
Open Noon - 8pm


Thursday, August 14 @ 3pm
Friday, August 15 @ 9:45pm
Saturday, August 16 @ 2pm
Tuesday, August 19 @ 7:15pm
Friday, August 22 @ 5:15pm

Venue #9: The Studio at Cherry Lane Theater
38 Commerce Street View Map

I'd love to see you in the audience!

Fluency!

Need something to do this August? As usual, I'll be urging those of us in the NYC area to check out the New York International Fringe Festival, FringeNYC.

This year I'll be directing and performing in Rake Theater's "Fluency", written by my friend and longtime collaborator, Kimberly Patterson.

What's it about?
Jack's an actor; Olivia's a playwright. They're better at kissing than communicating! Can they learn the language of love? Watch as they perform classic scenes: "first date," "awkward breakup" and "happy ending." A meta-theatrical romantic comedy from South Florida.

But you're not from South Florida!
No, I'm not. That's where Rake Theater is.

So, are you Jack or Olivia?
Olivia.

Isn't it funny that the character is named Jack?
Highly.

Did Kim do that for you?
No. She just likes the name.

More details, location, dates and performance times to come soon. Feel free to make more Jack comments. Those of you with nursery rhyme names are welcome to share anecdotes of childhood name-banes.

Angels' Dares Reading

Hello folks,
Thanks for your comments and emails and inquiries about where I've been. Answers include TequilaCon and the Orlando International Fringe Theatre Festival.

I've also had some day-to-day projects in the works that have prevented me from keeping up with blogging. However, I will be easing back in... (Yes, I suppose you've heard that before. Sorry, dudes and dudettes. I do mean it.)

As for "What have I been up to?" ...I'll be reading the Angels' Dares series as part of COAHSI's Summerfest. Details are...

Thursday, June 12 at 7pm
Barnes & Noble
2234 Richmond Avenue
Staten Island, NY

You can check out the other literary awards recipients here. Summerfest also includes performances by performing arts awardees and exhibits by visual arts awardees. All events are free.

Hope you can make it!

Summerfest is a series of Free exhibits and performances by Staten Island artists, presented by the Council on the Arts & Humanities for Staten Island (COAHSI). Summerfest Literary & Exhibiting Excellence in the Arts Awards are made possible through JPMorgan Chase. Summerfest Performing Excellence in the Arts Awards are made possible through the NYC Department of Cultural Affairs.

Happy announcement!

JillWrites is pleased to report...

I've won one of COAHSI's 2008 Excellence Awards!

COAHSI is the Council for the Arts and Humanities for Staten Island. Each year the Council presents awards to performing, visual, and literary artists. The awards are intended to celebrate artists' bodies of work and artistic development. As a recipient, I'll be presenting a reading during SummerFest. More info to come!

Jill Writes. Again.

Posts coming soon.

My most favoritestestest email I've ever written.

Scratch that. Ah, the wonder of Google. Menu looks good. See you there.

Just got back from the grocery store.

Monday nights in the grocery store are a mixed blessing. The mood is peaceful yet the produce choices are limited. Still we were able to find some mixed greens, apples, pears and berries that are rather pleasing. Add to that the nuts and beans we already had at home and a couple of good cheeses and I'm back to eating well. We also replenished the ice cream and chocolate supply for indulgence. Now I'm going to steep some ginger root and add some cream, prepare some foods to have ready in the fridge, relax, and get some sleep.

Today shall be my new birthday.

Well, my second birthday.

(Because I really like my day of actual birth, it being exactly in the middle of the awesomeness that is October.)

There is silence in my brain.

I've never heard silence before.

That is all.

For now.

Abigail posted a list of texts she's sent in the past seven days.

Jill thinks it's gonna be fun to cyber-reply. (See Abigail's post here.)

Got early fight. Arriving at seven.
Yeah, that sucks. If it makes you feel any better, I've always woken up in the middle of the night. That's probably why I don't like mornings so much.

Miss you.
2.

I think ice is subjective.
Well, here's the thing. The reindeer can fly so it doesn't matter if they're landlocked.

I forgot something.
I forget shit all the time. I also remember shit all the time. I also especially remember shit all the time I wake up in the middle of the night. I also especially forget shit when it's morning.

How long is Across the Universe?
Immeasurable?

If you are chilly...
...wear two scarves and a hat. Indoors.

Have keys. On my way.
To the kingdom.

I'm going to save you when I get to my office.
Cake. I randomly say the word "cake". It's a better choice than blurting out "I hate people".

Can you get cookies?
Can you call Kat?

Oh yeah and...

Josh mentioned that he got his iPod at work. But then he dropped it. Fortunately he picked it up before we left the store. It reminded me of one of my guidance counselors in high school. He gave me an Eagles tape that wouldn't actually play.

Update on the recap

I've woken up this morning in a rather pleasant mood with the minor exception of the sneezing - sore throat situation, which has actually morphed into something else which I'd rather not detail because it's kinda gross. However, it's not painful, exactly.

Last night I wrote that I was going to have a cup of tea and go to bed. But then I didn't feel like going to bed so I decided to play in Photoshop to see if I could figure out ways to salvage portraits in which the flash was too harsh. I found the shot that I liked the most and played with it until I came up with something, which I posted.

This reminds me that yesterday I realized that I've historically been too hard on myself about changing my mind over things. I changed my attitude about mind-changing. I changed my mind about going straight to bed after the blog post.

Also, several things I've seen on the internet in my morning reading reminded me that I also had a semi-long angst-ridden walk around my old neighborhood yesterday. I didn't leave that out of my blog post on purpose last night; I was really excited about being inspired to make fun of Uno Spin.

Also, I don't use semi-colons for the fun of it; I do it because I recognize their proper usage and my obsessive-compulsiveness often gets directed into punctuation and grammar. My obsessive-compulsiveness also gets directed into counting things, like books sold for the book drive at work. I count things. Lots of things. Like sometimes, ceiling tiles. But do you know what would be a much healthier way to direct some of this OCD? Hand sanitizer. Maybe if I directed a bit more of my nervous energy toward clean hands I wouldn't have the sneezy-throaty issue.

Okay, back to my walk. I don't remember the exact cause of the angst, but I do recalling wanting to direct it in a way that would not result in me raging or crying at the dinner table. When I got back from the walk, I raged at my brother some more. That's when he told me (again?) that now I should try to move from verbal raging into directing the anger into sports. Then I told my aunt's cousin that Catholic school has evil effects on little girls' psyches. Somewhere in there, I realized or was told or both that I'm fine just the way I am and the only one I should blame for trying to change me is me. True. Yep. Incidentally, me believes bitch is an empowering word that carries too many negative connotations.

There was also dinner table discussion about John from Cincinnati, which as some of you know, was my favorite TV show for the one season it was on the air. My father watched every episode twice. I didn't watch each episode of the show twice, but I have on many occasions been compelled to relive things that have happened to me. I'm not going to do that any more. It's unhealthy. I may write about my days but I'm not going to obsess about them.

In John from Cincinnati, the title character would (among other things) repeat to other characters things they or other people had said, with little to no vocal inflection. This would eventually incur action on the part of the other characters. I believe this would occur because the things he repeated or caused them to relive had a certain amount of hidden weight that they had not previously recognized. In life it is not possible to stop other people from acting like John. I have been angered by people doing such things in my life and I really wanted it to stop. But now I realize that I will stop being angry at people who do this once the hidden weight is gone. I think most of it is gone for me. It's all a matter of admitting emotions and accepting myself as I am. However, to reiterate my new acceptance of my prerogative to change my mind, I would like to state that John from Cincinnati is no longer my favorite TV show and I am pleased that it is off the air.

*****

Random bookish asides:

I never liked T.S. Eliot.

In high school, I skipped a very large section in the middle of A Farewell to Arms because I just couldn't stand Hemingway's hero any more. This is ironic because soon after I became rather stoic myself. Screw that. I'm done. Though I wouldn't mind living in the Hemingway House. Even with the cats.

I do not believe that The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex should be segregated from other books.

I've read nearly every book by Anne Rice.

Arthur Miller led a really fascinating life but I still don't want to have to re-read his plays.

*****

Also, I sometimes will even answer to bitch. Also also, I sometimes will even answer to Jilly. Also also also, I greatly savor the usage of "sometimes" in these sentences.

*****

And one last thing: the major reason I was not inspired to rage at any of my friends via IM yesterday was that the stickers on Kerri!'s blog improved my mood immeasurably.

Turkey et al: the Thanksgiving recap

Woke up with a sore throat, a sneezing fit, and an Alcatraz-rock on my shoulder. Consequently, greeted the 9am hour and my mother as Raging Bitch Jill. Vaguely remember attempting to watch the Macy's parade on the living room TV for all of 30 seconds, after which I pulled a fleece blanket over my head and beat the demented teddy bear woven into it. Eventually, I showered. I even blow-dried my hair.

Seethed on the computer for a while but did not take advantage of any of my friends who would have let me vent my wrath upon them. Asked Casey to call me buttface. Went to Brooklyn to have dinner with my father's side of the family. Shared my chocolate turkey with my godfather, Uncle Bags. Ate. Took a bunch of photos, none of which I am particularly pleased with.

Asked my brother for batting lessons. He basically told me that my years of wiffle-ball training and pretty decent hand-eye coordination don't mean beans unless I increase my upper body strength. In brain-storming fitness options, I recalled that I really liked going to the rock-climbing gym. Unfortunately, of the two people I took the belaying class with, one is my ex-boyfriend (a great guy, but I'm thinking we should not be rock-climbing together) and the other lives in Florida. Thus began the brain-storming of every human I know in the NYC-Northern NJ area as possible climbing partners. None came to mind as a potentially willing partner. Time for Jill to make a new belaying friend.

Played Uno Spin. It's advertised as "The Uno classic card game goes revolutionary!" Riiiiiight. Has anyone played this game? Revolutionary, not the first adjective that comes to mind. How about ass-backwards? That works. Idiotic? Check. Does a fancied-up version of Crazy 8's really require a wheel? Um, no. Then again, Hangman didn't exactly require a wheel but Merv Griffin died a kazillionaire and Vanna White's a peroxide deity.

I did have fun playing Uno Spin, mostly because it was ridiculously amusing that we had to read the directions before and after every player's turn. Plus, there were two flavors of Haagen Dazs on the table. White chocolate raspberry truffle is a damn good flavor. We should have played Spit. I now want to play Spit.

I'm home now. My throat is still sore. I'm going to have a cup of tea and go to sleep. Happy Friday, people.

I think my birthday just came a month late.

I'd officially reschedule it but I think we all know October is far superior to November. Then again, November has had its breakthroughs the past few years.

Day so far: woke up. did stuff. had some fruit. posted some photos. read some blogs.

Now I will eat more. And get some stuff done. And get more stuff done. All my tasks are neatly listed in my calendar. I'm getting good at this scheduling and prioritizing thing. If I really want to press my luck, I might even try to blow-dry my hair. Who knows, maybe my brother might even give me some batting lessons. The possibilities are endless.

practicing patience

Patience is the hardest part.

Mistake, accept, different mistake, different accepting.

Learned more yesterday about how I wish to address ambiguity in life and how I will feel if I don't actually articulate that it is there. If I am aware of it, I must address it. Last week I set off on a path toward being able to do do just that. Yesterday, I stumbled, took stock of how it felt. Now I've regained balance, reviewed what I am trying to teach myself, and am walking again. Breaking old thought patterns is difficult but I want to do it.

There have been a bunch of things that I'd been aware of, or that threw up a flag in my brain, that I just didn't address. They've ranged in size from the tiny to the gargantuan. Why I didn't address them at the times, I'll not try to answer right now. But I will take note that those are the things that resound in my mind the most. And those are things I will learn from.

Not sure who if anyone would be reading this, but that's okay. I don't need to know. I'm talking aloud, for I still do that from time to time. I haven't looked at it in quite some time, but I'm officially deleting the Sitemeter. I may still have a few more things to say on this page, but I'll say them only as I feel strongly. And then I will step back and ask myself why I felt to do that. And I'll use that answer to check my course and make sure I'm still going in the direction I mean to be heading.

Slowly, slowly.

Patience.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting. I think I've been learning something.

I sat down to write a profile yesterday and this is what essentially came out. (I've made a few revisions since then.) I didn't want to keep it as my profile but I do want to share it.

*****

A woman, seeking...

...to establish an equilibrium in the world outside her own mind.
...to leave behind the childish and only retain some of the wonder of the child-like.
...to discover how to make art while accepting its myriad interpretations.
...to discover how to appreciate art while accepting its myriad interpretations.
...to reconcile herself with a wash of feelings about the people she has been or wanted or pretended or seemed to be.
...to separate those selves from what she has created based upon them.
...to find peace with her past arts and artifices.
...to stop forgetting the good and powerful and sincere that was all mixed in.
...to live an authentic self in as many moments as is humanly possible.
...to fully accept the knowledge that ultimately she cannot control how people feel or think of her.
...to forgive herself for the hurts she has caused people she has genuinely cared about.
...to choose her words and actions carefully.
...to find a way to preserve her own sanity and peace of mind while indulging her genuine desire to interact with people.
...to find what redemption there may be in this world while accepting that there may not always be.
...to express gratitude.
...to go forward into life knowing better who she is and aims to be.
...to keep growing.
...to maintain patience in all these processes.

*****

She knows...
...she makes mistakes.
... she is the only person who can be her and be accountable for her
...she's going to the shelter to rescue a puppy.

Hey, I've got a bunch of stuff to write.

But right now it's in my notebook. Sometimes I jot a bunch of stuff down, then let it evolve in my head. I did do some typing and posting the other day, but then I decided it wasn't saying exactly what I wanted to say. So I un-posted.

I always taught my students that solid writing is really just a guide through your thought process. The better and clearer and more precise the thinking, the better the end product can be. That, coupled with the thought that if you don't worry about what other people are thinking, you can evolve on your own time... leads me to say: Yep, lots of stuff to write. Plenty of time to write it in.